On Monday I went to see my counselor, as I do, and I told her my brother and sister-in-law and my niece-I-hadn't-met-yet were coming out this week. "Interesting," she said. "I wonder how that will affect you." She said this in the aftermath of my revelation that chemotherapy is now almost a certainty for me, and in consideration of the fact that such treatment is often damaging to the reproductive system. "I know you said you've never been that interested in having kids," she said. "I wonder if that will change when you meet your niece, though, and how you'll feel about it in light of the impending chemo."
The next day I hied myself to Boston to spend some time with Dave and Lu and Hannah there before we all went back to my place. They were staying in a hotel because of a conference Lu had just been at. As my brother let me in the door of their room, Hannah was bawling her head off. I thought about what my counselor had thought. Second thoughts about having kids? Hmmm . . . let me check . . . nope!
My assessment remained constant even after Hannah proceeded to revert to her unbelievably adorable self for the rest of the next two days. I love kids. They generally like me, too--this niece of mine warmed right up, in any event. But I'm quite content not to bear my own. On the other hand, it has been a lot of fun getting to know Hannah, even if briefly. I've been reinforcing good habits.
And teaching her new ones.
Oh yeah. Being an aunt is pretty good.