Choice

I do have a choice, I guess, really. I was thinking about this at the Thanksgiving Eve service at my Old Church. Everyone was talking about things they were thankful for and I thought, "I should be thankful because actually, I have a choice."

I can get all mad that my fertility choices may reduce to nearly nil after I fry my body with chemotherapy, but actually, I don't think that's really what I was angry about. Like I said--I'm still not convinced I ever want kids. I think I was angry that I had to make a choice about the chemo or the protocol. I think I was just being contrary.

I don't think there's anything wrong with my feeling a little upset about this. But I do think I was being inconsistent, and whining over the "wrong" thing. This didn't stop me, however, from feeling very bereft when the Sixes were not around when I got home, or from crying on about six different people's shoulders after the service.