Friday, July 20, 2007

Just Seen

Today I was driving home from work, down the street where Ex-Roommate-Sarah now resides, and I saw a young man sauntering down the road. The first thing I noticed about him was that he was not wearing a shirt. Note to guys everywhere:

I don't care how fit you are, how great you look or how hot it is outside. Being shirtless in public, unless you are at the beach or a public swimming pool, is Not Classy. I am not impressed. Nor, I might add, are several other women I know.

(I might not be very classy either. But please. Spare us.)

Here, however is the other thing I noted about him. He was wearing a license plate. Yes. As in, the thing that one affixes to the back of cars, the number of which one wishes one remembered when one's car is towed. The bottom of this license plate was somehow tucked into the back of the young man's Bermuda shorts, but the number was legible, presumably in case he violated traffic. Or perhaps if someone wanted to call "How's My Walking?" (there must be such a thing, right?) and let them know he was staying on the sidewalk.

I am having a hard time imagining this adornment could be comfortable. On the other hand, I also have a little trouble with the idea that someone coerced him to put a good-sized rectangular metal plate in the back of his pants.

I don't know. Anyone have any creative explanations as to the reasons for this particular fashion statement?

Also, for a totally unrelated but also humorous observation, please check out this article from the Onion.


Barry Pike said...

I think you are misunderestimating how much even the feigned approval of one's favorite barista truly means to those of us for whom coffee is a major food group. We don't just want our java.

We want you (well, not you specifically, but virtually speaking...)not merely to give us sustenance, but also to bless us, like Mother Theresa or Galadriel, that we may go forth and face bravely our daily quests.

And why are male baristas not called baristos? That's weird.

I can't help you with License-Plate-Pants Man, other than to point out that we still live in a fallen world. Sorry.

Jenn said...

Ah, but Barry, a blessing is not the same thing as flirting. (Well, at least not necessarily. I don't think.) I'm all about the Starbucks Experience, and everything.

And I should have mentioned previously that, while debit cards ARE a handy-dandy tool for name-learning, I actually do know the names of most of our regulars without the aid of the Plastic.

The name-recognition, have-a-great-day (really really!) is my favourite part of the job. I just don't want every guy and lesbian to think it means I want to go out with them. (Maybe it means that with a couple of the guys. Maybe.)

As for barista/baristo, all I can say is to that is, why are bimbos not called bimbas? Or bimbettes?

Christianne said...

Oh my gosh, I laughed out loud AT LEAST four times while reading this post. Great post!! Utterly enjoyable and entertaining. I have no idea what was up with that weird guy.

And for the record, I have no idea what sparked all this conversation about the Starbucks experience in the comments here. I suppose it must have something to do with your reference to the article in the Onion. Hm. I guess I must go check that out now so I can be more in the know, you know.

Sorry. In a bit of a silly mood now that I just got back from seeing Harry Potter for the second time in a week. Got me all giddy. Loved it even better the second time around. And it finally hit me in the theatre, at about 10:00 tonight, that NUMBER SEVEN IS DUE OUT IN TWO HOURS!

It hadn't really hit me until just then how huge a deal that was. At least for all us HP types.

Done rambling now! Sorry.

David A. Zimmerman said...

Maybe that dude was Fred Flintstone. I think he needs bumper stickers on his pants: "My other car is a pair of Levis." Or a fish with legs eating a fish without legs.

GreekGeek said...

Scary thing is, I could see several of the guys with whom I spent this past weekend wearing something like that. Well, maybe not the shirtless part, but definitely the license plate part. Maybe he's just a displaced Scum member....

Jenn said...

Christianne--yes, all the Starbucks-babble was related to that article. Go read it. It will probably make you laugh, too.

Zimm--Ooh, yeah, maybe!

GG--Well, there might be that . . .

L.L. Barkat said...

Maybe he was going hunting and brought the wrong license by mistake?

Jenn said...

Good one, LL!

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