Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Stream of Self-Consciousness

I never thought I was going to do this. Then yesterday I was talking to one of the Sarahs who is not my roommate, and who is a published author, unlike me, and she suggested I start a blog, so that all the publishers and agents whose interest I'm going to pique when I go to the writer's conference next summer, will have access to more of my writing. They'll see what I can write, she says. They'll see what sorts of things I'm thinking about, and how I think about them, and how I express that thinking. (Not very clearly, perhaps, as evidenced by that last sentence.)

But I'm worried, you know. I mean, I already keep a journal, and I don't really want to keep my journal on-line where anybody can read it. My journal is how I talk to God, and I know there's a place for, say, praying aloud and all that, but I guess I don't want the whole world hearing (as it were) every single conversation I have with Him. Especially when half the time I'm talking to Him about other people I know--does Gloria in Chicago need to know that Gloria in Worcester doesn't work at the law office where I used to work anymore? I don't think so. When the details get juicier, she might want to know, I suppose, but thus my hesitation.

Not, of course, that anyone will actually read this. Which is another thing I'm wondering about. I always thought that blogs were for people who were either famous or so convinced that they were going to be, that they feel compelled to broadcast as much of the content of their grey-matter as possible, just in case anyone cares. (With the exception--seriously--of my friend Mariam who writes a very good blog and isn't really the self-broadcasting type.) And probably, no matter how much anyone cares about me (and a lot of people do, I'm grateful to say, in spite of everything I do to deter them), no one really has time to read my ramblings. If I weren't me, I wouldn't.

I think getting a blog grates on me so much because I fear that it's a tacit confession that, whether any other blogger is or not, I am the self-broadcasting type. Now everyone will know it for sure, and so will I, and I will continue to prove it on a regular basis by writing self-conscious thoughts, proud of how I put them across, and terrified lest anyone plagiarise them.

But maybe, just maybe, I'll write something interesting in all of this, or something true. You never know. Stranger things have happened . . .

9 comments:

Annelise said...

Jenn, I liked your blog and I think you may actually find it kind of fun! Of course, I'm your mother, so perhaps my comment doesn't really count.... Love, Mom

lpadron13 said...

Last night, while hunkering down for the hurricane that wasn't, I did the only thing left to do: check emails. I immediately clicked on your blog link and read the line about me...I think.

Already, your blog is 13 and a half times more interesting than anything found on the web. I knew it would be so.

It's about time you indulged in blogging. I'd have suggested it myself but preparing for hurricanes and and trying desperately to avoid spontaneously combusting in the florida heat takes up every waking hour.

As promised, I will read everything you write. You're well worth the time. I predict a Wikipedia entry for you in....2 to 3 years.

sarah said...

Okay, so my next recommendation is to repeat this mantra: "I AM A WRITER -- I AM A WRITER -- I AM A WRITER" till you're no longer self-conscious about it. To publish your material out there in the world is not shameless self-promotion, it's called WRITING! That's what you do! You're a writer! Congratulations on starting a blog that proves to everyone how serious you are!
- From the infamous Sarah who encouraged you to start a blog

maryanne said...

Ditto what Sarah said! She's totally right. Yay blogging! Keep it up!!
-mary anne

GreekGeek said...

Hurrah! Welcome to the blogosphere. I'm glad you're out here! After a year's worth of blogging, I have only 2 pieces of advice: 1) remember that anyone can find you at any time, so never write something that you would desperately hope any particular person would never see (!) and 2) HAVE FUN! It's a great way to explore ideas, get reactions and input, and vent whatever in running in circles in your brain like a gerbil on a treadmill.
Enjoy! I'll be reading with interest!

DWMadeira said...

I feel like I've just read the introduction to a book I won't soon put down. Eagerly awaiting future posts...

Jenn said...

Mom--why would your comment not count?! ;-) Yeah, I think I'm gonna like it . . .

Jenn said...

I feel the need to comment on everyone's comments--respond as it were, like this was email. But I don't really think I can, can I? (If it's possible, one of you blogging professionals will have to let me know how.) Anyway, I just wanted to say: I'd like to thank my family, and my friends, and my producer, and my dog (oh yeah, I don't have a dog). I couldn't have done it without you.

Well, and I really WOULD like to thank you for all the encouragement. You guys are the best.

Elaine said...

I can hear you speaking when I read your blog, which makes me smile.
I do hope however you are done with apologising and get on with the business of writing some good prose.

Your friend from the luvverly East End of London - Elaine - mwah!

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